Do you feel that your treatment of your partner is perhaps unacceptable? Do you think you sometimes go over the limit and treat your partner offensively? Would you like help to try to change your behaviour?
If you behave offensively, you treat others derogatorily. This can take many forms, for example, ignoring your partner’s opinions, not telling them important things, using silence as a weapon, often pointing out faults and shortcomings, blaming the other person for your own mistakes, behaving jealously and limiting your partner’s freedom.
It can also involve excluding your partner from your joint economy or applying regulations in the family without first discussing them with the other family members.
If such actions are part of a repeated behaviour pattern and are aimed at hurting the other person, they can be considered acts of violence.
Threats and physical force are also forms of violence as are sexual acts that offend and injure. Forcing somebody to participate in or watch sexual acts against their will is also a form of violence. Acting aggressively in a way that frightens your partner, by, for example, breaking things, is also an act of violence.
Do you recognise yourself?
Help is available.
An initial stage can be to turn to a person you trust. Daring to talk to somebody about your behaviour is a way of taking responsibility and an initial step to making changes. Many municipalities provide counselling services for men in need of help. Check the help guide for services oriented to persons inflicting violence. Look for the phone number of a counselling service for men, Utväg, or similar, through which you can meet experienced personnel who will support you in your attempt to refrain from using violence.
A person who threatens and offends somebody close to them is often a person who does not feel well. During counselling, you will be helped to take responsibility for your actions, at the same time as you are given the opportunity to talk about why you feel the way you do.
Many people choose to leave a relationship that has involved violence. However, if you feel that remaining in the relationship would be good for you and your partner, you must be aware that it takes time to re-establish the trust that is a prerequisite for all loving relationships.
You must show that you respect the other person by showing consideration for their needs and opinions. You cannot yourself decide if and how a damaged relationship can be repaired. You can only contribute to it. You are dependent on the willingness of the other person to play their part.